Novak, Hewitt and ... ?

An important update from the Death Trilogy Commissioner:

"Last week saw the beginning of a death trilogy with some great potential:

• Robert Novak, Aug. 18, 2009
• Don Hewitt, Aug. 19, 2009

"Now the death of reality show lunatic Ryan Jenkins on Aug. 23, 2009 would seem to end the trilogy. However, as he is Canadian, this death trilogy will remain open in case someone better – and less Canadian – comes along by Aug. 26, 2009. A nice, old media death is preferable. Hello, Andy Rooney: Have you ever noticed how famous people always die in three's?

DTC

Les is Mourned

The Death Trilogy Commissioner has issued the following ruling:

"Les Paul's death on Aug. 13, 2009 completes the current death trilogy that includes director John Hughes and JFK sister Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

"However, always cognizant of improving a death trilogy, the next six days will be watched closely. Please watch this site for official announcements."

DTC

Two down...

Death's summer holiday is over.

Two recent deaths have launched a new death trilogy:

• Director John Hughes, Aug. 6, 2009
• JFK sister Eunice Kennedy Shriver, Aug. 11, 2009

The next member of this exclusive club will make an appearance by Aug. 18. Bonus points for a member of either the Brat Pack or a famous Irish-American family heavily involved in politics...


DTC

@DeathTrilogy

Death has taken a Twitter account:

@DeathTrilogy

DTC

Walter Is An Orphan

Occasionally, a celebrity death will NOT be followed by other worthy deaths in succession. These so-called orphan deaths are notable for their rarity.

In the week since Walter Cronkite died, there have been deaths running the gamut from unknown boxers and would-be pro wrestlers to faded Olympic medal winners to authors (including the unfortunate soul who penned the book that became the film "Angela's Ashes") to Taco Bell dogs to Brazilian actresses and German filmmakers.

However, none of these deaths were notable enough to merit further consideration. Therefore, the Death Trilogy Commissioner rules that there will be no death trilogy associated with Walter Cronkite.

DTC

Important Announcement Expected

The Death Trilogy Commissioner issued this statement today:

One week after the death of Walter Cronkite, the public can expect a ruling on whether there is a pending death trilogy later today. Please rest assured, Gidget the Taco Bell dog will not be a part of any such announcement.

DTC

And That's The Way It Is...

CRONKITE

Walter Cronkite is dead. A new trilogy has begun. In other news:

• Eli Wallach and Harry Morgan are each 94.
• Yes, Harry Morgan has stopped beating his wife.
• Patrick Swayze is 57 and has cancer.
• Kirk Douglas and Betty Ford are each 93.
• Betty Ford's liver is suspect.
• Ted Kennedy is 77 and has a tumor in his brain.
• Christopher Lee and Jack Klugman are each 87.
• Yes, Jack Klugman is still alive.
• Billy Graham is 91.
• Kim Jong-il is ill.
• John Forsythe is 91.
• It's a bad year for Angels.